Holding Onto My Plans Loosely

I love making plans.

I make plans about everything: my daily routine, my month, trips I want to take, my college schedule, my future. I get wholly wrapped up in the process. I love sitting down with my calender and my post-it notes and making lists and figuring out how everything will work.

I am not an organized person, but when it comes to making lists and planning events I love it and am good at it.

I didn't realize it, but it became an obsession. I noticed, about a week ago that with my school plans, I get extremely irritated if something gets out of line. One little deviation ruined my whole day, and made me start to worry about the rest of my schedule.

I become worried that if I missed that one thing, then nothing else will pan out.

I was trusting in my own strength, and relying on my own plans and ideas.

Right now, in my Bible study, I am working through a book by Beth Moore on the life of Paul.

I was reading the part in Acts 16 where Paul was going to enter Asia to preach,

but the Holy Spirit blocked the way.

Beth Moore noted, " I don't believe God intended for Paul, Silas, and Timothy to travel haphazardly through the countryside. Paul was a very intelligent man.

He probably formulated an itinerary just like most of us would, but he kept his plans open just in case God had different ideas."

She then went on to say that we can make plans, but we have to hold on to them loosely. I was convicted by what she said.

All the time I formulate my own ideas for my life, and how I should go about it. I think it is the best there is for me. But I forget that I can make my plans, but I have to let God approve of them. If he is leading me in a new, different direction, or plans are not working how I wanted them to, I have to trust that God's plan for my life is bigger and better than anything I could ever imagine for myself.

Leaving High School Behind

The thought of growing older is a love/hate feeling.
I love being on my own; I love making my own decisions; I love acting like an adult; I love being treated like an adult; I love the excitement of the unknown, and knowing that the whole world is at my feet, and with God’s help I will achieve what He wants me to do.
But with all of these wonderful new experiences, the scary ones come hand-in-hand.
It is hard being lonely sometimes; I like being alone most of the times, but every once in a while it is difficult having to do the ‘responsible’ thing and study on Saturday, while all of my friends are having fun. Even if sometimes I enjoy it, it is hard not knowing what is coming next, and feeling like you are floundering and asking yourself, “Will this hard work ever pay off?” It is hard having the feeling of immediacy: I want it now, I don’t want to wait.
But change is normal, it is good. If fact, it is wrong to not want to change, to not want to challenge yourself, to discipline yourself. It is through these difficulties that you rely more on God and less on yourself.
It is time to leave high school behind. It is time to become an adult. It is time to start living your own life, to take what your parents and mentors have taught you, and to start living in the world.

Not of it, but in it.

L.s.R